well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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