I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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