i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You are the jesus of drinking
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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