EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize