Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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