I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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