Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
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