he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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