Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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