This girl is more easily done than said...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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