Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize