Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
