i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
