my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
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so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
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I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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