don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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