U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?