I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
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I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard