Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?