My first STD was from a foam party
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
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Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
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Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake