We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
