return my video game
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
