Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
