Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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