Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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