My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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