Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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