Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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