I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize