Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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