Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
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I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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