These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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