you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Randomize