If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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