MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?