You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
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hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.