Kiss
Puke
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
