Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she looked like the before picture.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
