I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize