I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize