You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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