He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
