You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize