I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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