Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
