I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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