lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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