Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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