There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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