I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out