3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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