If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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