We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
nutella sex= disaster
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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