Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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