You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
