i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night