Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream